Lonely = Venting!!

Have you ever just felt so alone? I do quite a bit...worse today, than other days. I haven't cried or anything, but I sure feel like it.  No one to talk to, no one to understand what I am going thru...I think I need to talk to my doc again, I just feel so sad most of the time.  It's getting harder and harder to hide how I am feeling. I really do need to have more me time, and I do need his support, not his comments all the time.  What is a girl to do?? I just don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't want me to scrap, cause it takes away from me sitting in the living room watching TV with him (yet we don't talk), he makes nasty comments if I want to go out with the girls (for coffee), yet every thursday (when I'm not working) he is drinking with the boys at work and drives home!!!  I think I've just had enough.  It's just like he doesn't think I deserve a life, he thinks he is the only one that is home all the time...funny thing is, I only work four days, then off for 5 days, who's home all that time...ME! When does he take time for him...everyday!!  He gets home from work, then usually sits and watches TV, me I usually have to cook, try and clean (lacking in that department), take care of Ryan...I'm just sooo tired.

I didn't even bother to ask about going to the crop in May...I just did it, I signed up, looking for a motel/hotel..and already have the time off. So as for me going to this crop...he has no say at all...I am going, I need this!